In some countries, too much money is spent by both the government and individuals on national festivals, such as New Year.
To what extent do you agree or disagree
从national festivals, such as New Year上可以看出来,观点可以与「文化」挂钩。
【立场】站「不同意」
注意点 1: 观点要同时覆盖政府和个人两方面
注意点 2: “过多的”开销,too much极端词,站「不同意」
注意点 3: 讨论是否存在这个现象,因此推导原因:即出于什么原因,有无过度开销,不能写这么做会带来什么利弊
【段落示范】
【让步】
1. Admittedly, both the government and individuals do allot certain revenues to celebrating national festivals.
* 总起句。
2. Religious and traditional activities, be they New Year's Gala or firework displays, are arranged by some nations and have long been a convention, even though the pandemics have impacted in recent years and required an enormous amount of expenditure.
* 政府层面:政府每年都会支出部分预算,举办各种传统风俗活动,哪怕是在近几年疫情影响下。
3. In this sense, some may assert that the money spent on national festivals should have been saved for the development of other fields more related to citizens’ basic survival.
* 政府层面:政府开销应该投于人民基础生活,在节日上的开销就显得“过多”。
4. Besides, such festivals are certainly regarded as times for celebration by individuals, who often take this as a good excuse to spend extra money on entertainment, especially when there are promotions or discount activities in shopping malls during festivals.
* 个人层面:特殊节日时期,商场会推出促销活动,而人们往往会以“节日特殊”为由,花费比平时更多。
【解析】
1. 内容(Task Response)*** 特别重要 ***
见文中批注。
2. 组织(Coherence and Cohesion)*** 尤其重要 ***
见文中批注。
3. 词汇(Lexical Resource)
revenues 为不可数名词,意思是“收益,收入”。归类于“通用词”。
pandemic为可数名词,意思是“[大范围广泛地区或全球性的]流行病,大流行病,瘟疫”。归类于“通用词”。
excuse 为可数名词,意思是“[辩解的]理由”。归类于“通用词”。
promotion 为可数名词,意思是“[产品的]促销,推销”。归类于“话题高频词”。
4. 语法(Grammatical Range and Accuracy)
第2句:主句为Religious and traditional activities are arranged… + even though 引导的让步状语从句; be they New Year's Gala or firework displays为省略引起的特殊倒装, 常规语序为 whether they are New Year's Gala or firework displays.
第4句:主句为 such festivals… by individuals + who 引导的定语从句 + when引导的时间状语从句
should do 为「平时状态」下“应该做”,should have done为「过去」应该做但是没有做
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