支招托福作文:学术讨论范文(2)

长沙编辑 2026-01-07 14:26

    长沙新航道托福小编分享托福考试真题范文。每一篇范文都经由新航道专业托福写作团队反复校对,还有详细的范文批注、撰写思路解析和好词好句整理,考托人们快快学起来吧!


    完整版范文


    Question
    Your professor is teaching a class on business. Write a post responding to the professor’s question.
    In your response, you should do the following.
    - Express and support your opinion.
    - Make a contribution to the discussion in your own words.
    An effective response will contain at least 100 words.
    Dr. Achebe
    We’ve been discussing business strategies and the attitudes of business people toward risk and opportunity. The scientist Albert Einstein once said that a person who never made a mistake never tried anything new. He was probably referring to physics, but l wonder how this attitude might apply to the business world. Do you think it is a good business strategy to take continual risks even though they might result in mistakes that could affect a company negatively?
    Paul
    I think this strategy can easily backfire on a business person. I’ve seen companies conduct endless cycles of product enhancements in an effort to capture some other market share. But in reality, they just damage their own brand by sacrificing too much of the original content that made the product popular in the first place.
    Claire
    I disagree with Paul. Most profitable businesses have used this strategy or they would have never made it to the top. If you plan to grow a business aggressively, some mistakes along the way are inevitable. Too much caution or too much emphasis on avoiding mistakes can really prevent growth.


    范文正文


    I firmly believe that continuously taking risks in business is crucial, even if it may lead to negative impacts.【宾语从句+让步状语从句】One reason is that risk-taking often comes with innovation and transformation, allowing companies to seize new growth opportunities.【表语从句+分词短语】In other words, businesses that ward off risks are less likely to retain their edge and market positions in the long run.【定语从句】For example, Nokia was once the world’s largest mobile phone manufacturer, holding over 40% of the market share in the early 2000s. However, faced with competition from Apple’s iOS and Google’s Android,【分词短语】Nokia retreated from developing novel operating systems and instead banked on its outdated Symbian system. Moreover, while revolutionary companies like Apple and Samsung thrived through trial and error,【让步状语从句】Nokia did not venture sufficiently into new businesses and technological areas, such as touchscreen technology and building an application ecosystem. Consequently, Nokia’s reluctance to step out of its comfort zone caused a dependence on a single product, inevitably culminating in a loss of market competitiveness and a rapid decline in market dominance over time.【分词短语】To conclude, taking chances in business is of great strategic importance.


    写作思路和特色
    这道题是2024年4月17日托福学术讨论写作真题。教授问:即使持续冒险会对公司产生负面影响,它是否是一种好的商业策略?Paul认为这种策略很容易有反作用,比如一些公司不断地改进和升级产品,实际上却牺牲了品牌最初的产品原创性;Claire则反对Paul的观点,认为公司想要盈利和发展业务,犯错是不可避免的,过于谨慎或者过分强调避免错误实际上会阻碍公司发展。
    这篇文章采用了“个人观点+因果论证+举例论证+总结”的写作结构,以诺基亚的例子来阐述在商业中不断冒险的重要性。文章首先指出,冒险行为常常伴随着创新和变革,这使公司能够抓住新的增长机会。相反,避免风险的公司在长期内很难保持其优势和市场地位。接着,文章通过诺基亚的案例说明这一观点,诺基亚曾是世界上最大的手机制造商。然而,面对来自苹果iOS和谷歌安卓系统的竞争,诺基亚却选择停滞不前。同时,这种保守的策略也导致诺基亚未能充分探索新业务和技术领域。相较之下,苹果和三星等革命性公司通过不断尝试和错误取得了成功。诺基亚的保守策略导致其过度依赖单一产品,最终丧失了市场竞争力,并在市场主导地位上迅速衰退。文章在结论部分重申了冒险在商业战略中的重要性。整篇文章结构清晰,语言简洁明了,论述严谨,层层递进,通过具体的案例分析和数据支持,增强了论点的说服力,使读者能够清晰理解文章观点和论证过程。


    用词用语整理
    【表语从句+分词短语】
    “One reason is that risk-taking often comes with innovation and transformation, allowing companies to seize new growth opportunities.” 这个句子使用主从复合句结构,增加句型多样性,突出了企业通过冒险获得新增长机会的观点,为整篇文章的论证奠定了基础。


    【让步状语从句】
    “Moreover, while revolutionary companies like Apple and Samsung thrived through trial and error, Nokia did not venture sufficiently into new businesses and technological areas, such as touchscreen technology and building an application ecosystem.” 这句话使用了让步状语从句,对比了苹果和三星等企业通过反复试错蓬勃发展的情况,突出了诺基亚在探索新业务和技术领域方面的保守策略。


    【分词短语】
    “Consequently, Nokia’s reluctance to step out of its comfort zone caused a dependence on a single product, inevitably culminating in a loss of market competitiveness and a rapid decline in market dominance over time.” culminating in现在分词短语清晰地表达了诺基亚因不愿走出舒适区而导致的后果,进一步支持了文章的论点。
    ward off(避免):ward off可以用作avoid的同义替换,避开或防止某种不好的事物,比如疾病或危险。
    例句:The garlic and herbs in the soup helped ward off the cold that was going around.汤里的大蒜和香草有助于预防流行性感冒。
    retain an edge(保持优势):注意这里的edge是优势的意思,常见短语有competitive edge(竞争优势)。除了retain,保持优势还可以与keep、maintain做搭配。
    例句:Regular exercise helps athletes retain an edge over their competitors.定期锻炼帮助运动员保持对竞争对手的优势。
    retreat from(撤退,退出):指从某种活动、位置或责任中撤离或退出,通常是因为危险、困难或失败。
    例句:He decided to retreat from the argument before things got too heated.他决定在事情变得过于激烈之前退出这场争论。
    bank on(依赖,指望):通常指对某事或某人有信心或期待,但是该表达在这篇文章中的用法是负面的,表示依赖或指望一个过时的系统或方法,暗示依赖过时系统可能带来的局限性。
    例句:They’re still banking on their outdated marketing strategy to attract customers.他们仍然依赖过时的营销策略来吸引顾客。
    trial and error(反复试验):通常用于描述一种反复试验的过程,在过程中会有成功和失败,但每次失败都是为了最终的成功积累经验。在这篇文章中用于突出与诺基亚保守策略的对比,强调冒险的重要性。
    例句:The scientist discovered the cure for the disease through trial and error.通过反复试验,这位科学家发现了这种疾病的治愈方法。
    venture(冒险去做), step out of its comfort zone(走出舒适区), taking chances(冒险尝试):这三个表达都是take risks的同义替换。英语本身是一门多变化表达的语言,英语写作中可以根据实际语境来构思各种替换表达,增加语言多样性,当然这离不开平时的阅读和积累。
    例句:It’s important for our team to step out of its comfort zone and embrace new challenges to grow and innovate.对我们的团队来说,走出舒适区并迎接新的挑战以实现成长和创新是很重要的。
    culminate in(以...作为最终结果):在这篇文章中用于强调诺基亚决策的负面结果。culminate in后面通常接一个名词或名词短语,表示最终结果。
    例句:The series of meetings culminated in a successful agreement between the two companies.一系列会议最终达成了两家公司之间的成功协议。

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